First I was really worried cause I hadn’t had a hear from him for couple hours. He works in different places, sometimes on roofs and while we are always in touch and he was quiet I strated being worried. It turned out that sth happened with his phone and he couldn’t text me or call me back. He will sort it on Thursday or later as now he is away from home and can’t do much without paperwork. Though he texted me in the evening, when he got hotel and wifi. And it was nice as always. But one thing’s stuck in my head. I always have to ask him about everything. He rarely tells me things spontaneously. He didn’t even tell me that he’s going away to work for two days. That wouldn’t change anything but maybe I would like to know. And he doesn’t ask me things. It’s always me who tells him about everything. For example I told him that I would be away for couple days and the trip would be by train and at night and would last 8h and he didn’t even ask if i was going alone or with somebody else. Long night train trip and he didn’t want to know? It’s a question which u ask when people say you something like that. It happens all the time. He doesn;t ask me. And when I told him that he started to joke and asked me random silly questions. What drove me mad for a second cause one of them was rude. My friend Kyle told me that he couldn’t win that conversation as if he asked me I would take it wrong that he didn’t think I could handle that trip myself. Well maybe I could think something like that but then I wanted him to carry about me. And when I said I might be not available later cause of losing a signal during a trip he just said okay.

It wouldn’t change anything but it would be nice.

And okay maybe he was tired after the whole day of working, and maybe I should have said everything straight but it doesn;t changes a fact I feel bad and lonely now. And Kyle said I should have thought about my weird girlish behaviour if I didn’t want to drive him away. I don’t.

He says so much that he wants me  to be happy, safe and so on but when it comes to situations like that he turns on the game first than text me.


or maybe just begin somehow. I decided to start this blog cause, surprisingly and apparently my boyfriend is English and I’m a bit tired and irritated of my poor vocabulary and according to this I’m forced to look up words in a dictionary thousand times a day. He is very supportive, keeps assuring me that I’m doing fine but what else he can say. The worst and the sexiest at the same time thing is his accent. God! It seems that I’ve never ever been learning british english! but American. This is such a huge difference. I can watch movies in English without subtitles and understand almost everything but when he calls me I’m confused and have to ask him to repeat. I hope this will end soon and I get used to that. That thing between us doesn’t last long so maybe there’s still a chance for me. So I believe that writing may help me to translate my thoughts into English words so it will be easier to say them at loud someday. I’m of course aware that it’s not the same as speaking, but better this than nothing, I suppose.